The Smith Files: Happy Halloween from The Smiths!

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Toddler Talk

November 2009

Brody: She [Laura] is my favorite babysitter, but I don't often like babysitters.

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Brody: That's a pink car! That's not for a man to drive it! That's for a girl to drive it!

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Brody: Do I let doctors do my surgery?

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Brody: Can I hold one of those spiders?

Mommy: No, those spiders are decorations and they stay on the bush.

Brody: But I want one of those spiders. I've been crying about it for half an hour!

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Brody: Mommy, can I have a snack?

Mommy: What are you hungry for?

Brody: For something that you give me, of course!

October 2009

Brody: Where are the snails right now, Mom?

Mommy: The snails are hibernating for the winter because it's too cold for them.

Brody: Are the snails making babies and that's why they're not out?

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Brody: I think the dinosaurs lost their moms and that's why they're 'stinct!

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Brody: Can we go to the restronaut where there's hamburgers?

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Mommy: You have such bedhead! What are we going to do with you?

Brody: Throw me in a dumpster! Then Daddy will cry and never let me choose my own clothes.

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Brody: How is Leyton gonna knock on doors for candy?

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Brody: Mommy, are your teeth baby teeth?

Mommy: No, mine are adult teeth. I lost all my baby teeth when I was a kid.

Brody: When the tooth fairy comes, does he bring a new tooth?

Mommy: No, the tooth fairy takes your old tooth and leaves money under your pillow.

Brody: So you can buy a new tooth!

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I was having a conversation with my neighbor, Wendy. I don't even remember what we were talking about. Brody was standing nearby and suddenly shouted out, "Excellent point!"

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Brody: I really want a cat. I don't want a dog. I'm bored from dogs.

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Brody: I'm going to be Batman for Halloween. And Leyton's going to be Robin, and Mommy's going to be Catwoman, and Daddy's going to be BatDaddy!

September 2009

Mommy: Look at that hummingbird. It sticks it's long beak in the flower and drinks the nectar.

Brody: I wish I could be a hummingbird so I could drink Hector, too.

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Brody: Mommy, that bagel has nuts. I don't want Leyton to have it.

Mommy: Those aren't nuts. They're seeds. Leyton can have seeds.

Brody: No he can't! He'll grow a seed tree!

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Brody: Oh my heavens! What are those?

August 2009

Daddy: Why are you wearing those goggles?

Brody: So I can save frogs that are lost in the deepness.

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(I showed Brody a picture of Daddy's old bulldog, Spike.)

Brody: Is that Elijah?

Mommy: No, that's Spike. He was Daddy's dog when he was a little boy.

Brody: Spike's a good name!

Mommy: Spike lives with Jesus now.

Brody: Can we tell Jesus we want him back so he can come to our house and live with 'Lijah?

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Brody: (after covering his finger with a candy wrapper) Look Daddy! It's a finger jet!

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Brody: I'm doing serious work. I'm going to put the worms in this bucket and then bring them over here and then take them over there, and then they'll head south.

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Brody: (singing in the car) Leyton is a rotten banana! Leyton is a lazy bumblebeeeeee!

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Brody: I want to be a pwessional golfer and go up in a spaceship and be a spacer.

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Mommy: Hold your horses!

Brody: I'm not holding any horses because I don't have any horses.

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Brody: Leyton has a Target Brand spider.

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Brody: This is my beetle. His name is Dairy Queen.

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Brody: Wook 'em Longhorns!

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Brody: Leyton can't climb trees because we don't have a ladder.

July 2009

(Brody gets a gummy every time he goes potty.)

Brody: I want a sore [sour] one! I want a sore [sour] one!

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Brody: I need to make a tent so I can live happily ever after.

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Brody: (pointing at a page in the book Goodnight Hawaiian Moon) Look Mommy! High biscuits! [hibiscus]

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Brody: (trying so hard to think of the right word) Yesterday, yesternight, yestersmorning Daddy didn't want me to dig in the gummies.

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Brody: (handing me the book Little Red Riding Hood) Read this book, Mommy. It's Little White Wagon Hill.

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Brody: (looking at Leyton) This is not the right baby for us. I want a sister baby.

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(A lake creature statue just moved to Lake Harriet. We drove by one night to take a look.)

Brody: I hope that darn thing likes to swim!

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Brody: Chipolly (Chipotle) is that way, Mommy, where they have rice and beans and cheese on the moon.

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Brody: I wear a shirt to protect my belly button so Leyton can't bite it.

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(These are the words to a song Brody made up one morning and sang to me.)

"One mom-meee, one dad-deee, one Bro-deee, one bay-beee, then that's it!"

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Brody: (to Daddy) I'm going to wear a pink shirt when I'm a gril.

June 2009

(Brody has developed a little fear of the dark. He wants his lamp on at night when he goes to bed.)

Brody: I don't want my room to be dark. I just like it to be shadowy.

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Brody: Why do we have Baby Leyton?

Mommy: Because that's what God gave us.

Brody: How does God give us babies?

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Brody: Today looks like a sweaty day.

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May 2009

Brody: Why is his name Leyton?

Mommy: Because Mommy and Daddy liked that name.

Brody: I want his name to be Suzie.

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Brody: (with a towel draped over his head and shoulders after his bath) "I look like Mary Jesus!"

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Brody: (while watching the Takins at the MN Zoo) "I see a taco over there!"

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Brody: (while "combing" Leyton's hair) "Your hair's gonna get hideous!"

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Brody: (after seeing two shirtless joggers while we were out walking) "Mommy, why are some people naked outside?"

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Brody: "Mommy, I want you to have my sister in your belly."

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Brody: "A bee-hatch! A bee-hatch! I don't like that bee-hatch!"

Mommy: "Brody, what are you talking about?" (as I literally have tears running down my cheeks from laughing so hard)

Brody: hands me an empty wasp's nest he found on the ground.

Mommy: "Oh! A bee hive!"

April 2009

Brody: (while combing his hair) "Mommy, do you like my hair? It's gonna be gril [girl] hair. I'm a gril on that awful day. But I'm still a boy!"

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Brody: "Diggers!"

Mommy: "Wow, look at all those diggers."

Brody: "They're just diggering!"

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Brody: "I'm looking for worms. The worms are all cold. They're probably wearing sweaters..."

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March 2009

Brody: "Mommy can come to my birthday party and Daddy can come to my birthday party and Yayton can stay in his carseat..."

The Smith Files

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween from The Smiths!

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